Life goes on...

Saying goodbye is always the most difficult thing to do, especially when it is to your parents. Neha was hiding her urge to cry as much as possible so that she does not make her parents cry. She has spent nearly a month with them in her home town as her kid had summer vacation. And finally the day to leave for Delhi, where her husband works, has come. She hugged them once again, tried her best to put up a fake smile and bid them goodbye for the last time as she started pushing her luggage in the trolley to go to the airport check-in counter. Her daughter Aditi was running behind her, holding on to her dupatta.

There was a long queue in the counter and all the while Aditi kept on looking and smiling at her grandparents. Finally there turn came and Neha gets the boarding passes and proceeds towards the security check-ins. After that, her parents are no more visible and with a heavy heart she spots a place where she can sit down with her daughter and wait till boarding starts for her flight.

Aditi finds another kid in the same row and she starts playing with her. Neha realizes it is so easy when we are kids to forget our sorrow and to be happy at the next instant. The happiness of the kids brings a smile of Neha’s face too and she felt a little more relaxed.

She looks around her at other people waiting for their flights in the lounge.  An older couple was engrossed in their books. A young girl and her father were discussing about her office work and colleagues.  A young couple sharing a cup of coffee and some cookies while talking to each other.

From a distance, he looked familiar. Neha could not recollect, exactly like whom. But as he approaches closer, within a few seconds, Neha just could not believe her eyes. It cannot be Rohan, is all she was telling herself. But all her worst fears are going to come true as he comes closer and closer in her direction. He has already seen her.

He still looks the same, though fifteen years is a very long period. His face now marked with many stress lines and hair turned salt and pepper, but somewhere the charm is still there. He is looking smart in a well fitted business suit and shoes. She quickly checked his fingers, she clearly remembers them and they have also have not changed. She kept on staring at him, for a long time, not realizing what she was doing, until Rohan extends his hand towards her to greet her.

As she suddenly comes back to her senses, she stood up and shakes his hands. The touch sent shivers down her spine and not knowing how to react she looked into those familiar eyes and tears roll down her cheeks. She quickly regained her composure but she felt very weak in the knees and sits down. He too sits down beside her. After a long pause, which both of them needed, he asks her, “How are you?” She was not in a position to reply and she continued looking down. Finally she looks into his eyes and he had tears in them too, which he quickly tries to hide.

Aditi comes to Neha and sticks to her, little surprised at this “new Uncle” who is making mama cry. She asks Neha, “What happened mama, why are you crying”? Neha replies,” I am fine Aditi, Meet Rohan Uncle”. She says a ‘hi’ to him and goes back to her friend. “Your daughter is very cute, very much like you”.

Suddenly, an announcement is made for Neha’s flight. Neha says,” That’s my flight, we need to leave.”

Rohan smiles gently and said Ok. Neha takes her handbag, calls Aditi and gets ready to go. She looks one more time in his eyes, as if asking many whys. Why, why and why? The same look was on Rohan’s face too. As if there are many things unsaid between them, a lot of pain and lots of strings attached between them.

She gets ready to go, holding Aditi in one hand. She says a final goodbye and leaves. He does not respond. She knew, like the last time, he won’t. He won’t call her from behind; he will be silent as he always has been. She has no expectation this time.

In a few seconds, he calls her name. He calling her by name, like those older days,  made her all the more emotional. She just stops and does not turn back as she does not want him to see her crying like this.  He says, “All the best Neha, always be happy”.

Neha nods and she walks swiftly and quickly disappears in the crowd.

Rohan kept on sitting there. He was too stunned at this accidental meeting to do anything else. He also could not believe, what happened a few minutes back. He has always wanted to meet her at least once more in his lifetime but he never knew, it will be like this.

All he wants and prays today is her well-being, wherever she is, with whoever she is. But there were days, when he wanted her to be only with him.

She is his first love. During those college days when they first met, she was very smart and intelligent, a very positive and happy person. She was not the classic beautiful type girls but something about her had made him want her madly. Her big eyes and her beautiful smile were unique to her and she was different from the many “English-medium” girls in college.

But maybe, for her, he was just a friend. She was too much for him, he had always felt that way and he never had the guts to approach her. He had tried hinting her, many times, but it never worked. He had tried many times to tell it through eyes, but she never understood.

He had written many poems for her in his poem book. Almost everyone in his class would have read them and appreciated them and almost everyone knew whom it was for. But being an “English medium” girl, she never asked for the poem book as she won’t be able to read them.

His friends used to tease them together, even sometimes the lecturers. But she was too engrossed in her studies to even notice that.  The whole of his family also knew that he liked her.  In short, everyone around him knew but the person who needed to know the most, was unaware of everything.  He used to just love it when people used to take their names together. Someone said rightly, “If a guy loves, the whole world knows except the girl. But if a girl loves, only she knows”.

Anyways, two years passed very soon. He kept waiting for the most unfortunate day of his life – the last day of college. Because after that, he won’t be seeing her or talking to her anymore, which had become his daily habit by now.

And on the last day of college, he reaches college very late and first thing he does is to look for her. They see each other, but for some reason, she looked very unhappy and angry. Has he done something? Has anyone told her that he loved her and she is angry because of that? Should he go and talk to her? At least bid her a goodbye? May be he should wait for some time, for her to come and speak to him.

Meanwhile, she takes out the bike and she gets ready to leave. She looks at him in the pretext of checking the rear wheel of her bike and she still looked angry. She starts her bike and leaves.

As he sees her leaving, he could feel a lump in his throat and all he wanted to do was to cry out her name loudly and stop her. But he never had the guts to do that. He kept staring at her, till she was no more visible, just the way it happened few minutes back.

He was feeling the same pain, the same intense pain, the same sense of helplessness that he had felt fifteen years ago. Time heals everything, but some wounds are perhaps never healed. They pain for a lifetime, but still life goes on.